CHARITY

Charity and I were good friends. We used to stick by each other through thick and thin. Both of us used to shop together, cook together,attend to extra classes together and many other things as well. Anyone would think that we were glued together forever.

I first met Charity eleven years ago. Back then, we were still in primary school, in fact, it was the second month of school. We were in primary 1 at that time. One day, as I was on my way back home from school, I happened to notice a girl, about my age, sitting on one of the swings at the playground. Her face was all red and her eyes were all puffy and brimming with tears. I wondered what had happened to her. The moment I approached her, she smiled sweetly at me, it seemed as though she had been having fun, swinging on the swing, all along. She didn't seem to be crying at all at that.I eventually came to know why she was sad that day. It was because Charity had no friends of her own and she envied everyone else who had one. She was glad that someone had approached her that day. That was the day she had been bestowed upon, a friend. Since then, we had always been together.

Just last year however, the star of our school, Sam, committed suicide. Every single one of us were shocked when we received the news. We didn't even know that something had gone horribly wrong in his life. We later learnt that Sam had taken his own life because his parents had just gotten a divorce, his sister passed away at the age of four, his girlfriend two-timed him and just recently, he lost in the finals of the football match. He didn't seem to have any meaning in his life anymore.

It suddenly dawned on us that if it was this easy to get away from all of our troubles in life, should we all not do the same? Would our lives be simpler that way?

Slowly, everyone was starting to feel the same way. this resulted into a suicide pact. A group if us felt that if troubles could vanish with our deaths then, why not do exactly that? Charity became an orphan when she was 10 and I cannot even begin to imagine life without her if she were to leave me. She was like my other half, I would be incomplete without her there by my side. This was the reason I was, also, involved in the pact.

It was decided that we would all commit suicide in my house at sunset that Sunday, that year. That Sunday unfortunately never came because some of us were starting to have doubts. Our pact was also disbanded for a while, or so I thought.

Charity and I decided to pay a visit to Sam's parents. There was a sense of remorse and mourning in the atmosphere of the house. It then hit me that suicide was not the answer to all our problems. After the visit I told Charity that I would not go through with the suicide and that she should not as well. When I had said that, she turned back and glared at me. It was as if she was a whole other person. I couldn't tell what she was thinking at all.That was the day I lost my closest friend, my other half. Little did I know, she had already arranged for the suicide pact to be carried out that night with the others.

That night, I received a call from Charity's caretaker. She claimed that Charity had not yet returned home. A chill went down my spine, it was not a good feeling. I hoped that I was not too late. I searched everywhere but it was in vain. i was near the playground where Charity and I first met. There was a strange aura that commanded me to go there. Upon doing so, i saw the bodies of all my friends, those involved in the suicide pact.

That day was the day that I had lost everything. I should have never even thought about joining the pact. none of this should have happened. If only I had understood Charity better, if only I was able to understand that her glare was her sadness deep within knowing that we wouldn't ever be together again, if only I could turn back time.

RISK

A life without any risk is really not considered as a proper lived life, so to speak that is.. However when u do take a risk and make an attempt on something that you thought was impossible, and discover that it isn't as impossible, you start to see things differently.you feel like you are able to attain any power,or the possibility of even being to rule the world one day too. And all these started with one risk.A risk that initially seemed to not matter, when it actually did... A LOT... well this is how it was for me, before all these things happened.All these uncalled for incidences.

"Help me! please..." this was all that i was able to say, before all went dark and cold before and within me. I was drowned in my own puddle of blood. My body throbbed from head to toe.i will not survive, i mean, how can i? just look at me!How did this happen? what would happen when my parents find out? if only they had known maybe, just maybe all of these would be a dream. I pray dear god, please spare me, i am sorry for all of which i had done, i will now do only what i am told to do.i will not do this again.please forgive me.

I awoke with a start. i saw myself, the same way as the way the earth see itself, sick, polluted,tainted, abused.

You see, i have a problem, ever since i was a child, i wasn't like other children who were able laugh and play in the sun all day long, with their parents alongside them. i was always stuck in the cottage. my parents left me when i was only an infant, i needed to fend for myself. My guardians were not able to afford my medical bills when it came.How then would they be able to afford the cost of my treatment? As a result, i wasn't given treatment for my weak heart condition. That have led me to be this way.

I was abandoned outside club marrimore when i was 10. The owner was kind enough to give me a place to stay. His name is Jeffery. He was so kind to even allow me to work there as he paid for my education. i was so glad. Little did i know that he had plans of his own. The day i graduated form high school with marks only you could dream of, i was so anxious to let Jeffery know. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. When i had reached the club, i wasn't able to find Jeffery anywhere. Instead all i saw was a group of people.They were all armed with some kind of weapon, i couldn't tell what it was since it was rather dark. i tried to run away as i sensed that something was not right. But that didn't work, as it turned out, my "helper" only helped me out the other time, so that when i got old enough, he would sell me away. He was able to earn more money that way. All i could do then was nothing. I was lost in my own thoughts, this resulted in me being tainted, i was helpless. i felt that if i could die at that very moment, all would be well. I would be able to see my parents. i let them do what they wanted with me. i couldn't be bothered with anything but my death at that time.

Many months after the episode, i had tried to kill myself but to no avail. Everytime i tried, i would find myself being restrained. Soon afterwards, i decided to give up.Jeffery never did come back to the club again. as it turned out, he wasn't even the boss there. He was only helping his brother.

"Business is really brisk today isn't it Brian?", i asked my fellow co-worker." yeah. But then again, maybe its because you are here." Just then, a customer called for me." Hey! my name is Cameron, how would you like to ditch this joint and instead, join me and my crew in Hawaii. We are planning to shoot a series. And i was just thinking, you would be a perfect girl for the job. So, u interested?" "me? a star, please you have got to be kidding me.". If only i could get away i would be delighted to do so,more than anything.If you knew about my past would you still accept me? "why not? just try out." " I'm sorry, I need to think about this for a while." "well of course, i will be here tomorrow with your answer. I hope your decision would be the right one for the both of us. i guess i shall see you tomorrow then yeah?"." Alright then. But may i ask, what is the title of the series which you will be shooting?" "Ah, well... the title would be. RISK" "OK. i will see you tomorrow then. Thank you and please come again!"."Jen, what did that guy want with you,you guys seemed to be having a rather interesting conversation"he laughed. "Oh Brian, did anyone ever tell you that you think too much?"

After the club was done for the day, i was left there to clean up. Risk.. life is sort of like a huge risk on its own, isn't it? maybe, i should just risk my life on this one? I laughed at the idea of it. " Why don't i just risk my life on this. maybe i can be free finally. now those bandits aren't around till next week. I might just be able to get out of this slump.Yes, this might actually work. i mean what else have i got to lose, a risk for Risk. it sounds interesting. it shall be done.".

The next day I met with Cameron once again."so... have you decided? you wanna take part and join us?"." yeah. i would be happy to. But we have to leave at once. I have my luggage ready, lets go."

It felt so good.I'm finally free. i can go see the world.Finally. Was the sky always this blue, Have the grass always been this green. I felt that i was alive again. After what seemed like eons.

We arrived in Hawaii shortly after.the moment the plane landed, i felt so faint. it felt like as if i was dying soon. It felt like i was on my way to a place with no more miseries, no more pain. Only happiness and tranquility.

At the beach, while acting, i felt like i was one with the waves of the ocean. And i could count the beat to the rhythm of the leaves rustling. Suddenly i felt a pang of guilt. Why had i not tried to risk everything and go for what i had always wished for? My freedom. If only this would last forever. At that moment, my heart ceased. I chocked. i fell hard to the ground.

The sirens were fading in my ears. This is just like the dream i had. i thought. But the only different is that. instead of there being blood, pain, suffering and sickness, i was happy. and there was no pain, i felt really healthy and free. like, i can conquer the universe if i wanted to .. RISK that was what was missing in my life.

At the hospital, the doctors had managed to get my heart beating again. However, there was still a problem. My heart was getting weaker and failing. Cameron was the one who made a decision.he made me take a risk. I was going to get a heart transplant. the operation may or may not be successful but all this didn't matter cause' i know that freedom is near.

Hours passed and the operation still carried on. now that there was enough money, all these were able to happen.Had it not been for Cameron, i wouldn't know in what state i would be in now. The light went off. the operation was over.

Days passed, still, i was unconscious."please wake up dear Jen. I wouldn't know what to do if you were to leave me. Please don't go. I need you." hose voice is this? why doe this person sound so sad? i tried to slowly open my eyes, to calm the person. My eyelids felt really heavy. just then, my B.P and heart started to stabilise. i opened my eyes, only to find Cameron sitting next to me, with my hand in his. His eyes look stunned, as though he had seen a ghost. Which apparently he thought he did since i just woke up from a critical condition." why?". " Jen, I have heard about you from you from Brian, he is my brother. After having herd what had happen to you, i couldn't help but to try and help you out.the more i got to know you, the more i started getting attached to you. Your past doesn't matter to me. all that matters is the present and the future. and i want you in mine. all you have to do is take a little risk and a leap of faith. Risk... that word became a part of my life. "Cameron, you don't know how much all of these mean to me" I broke into tears, tears of joy and regret.

Now, i am willing to risk everything for my desires. Risk... in its absence, nothing can be discovered. Or changed or.. well you can say renewed.

(1603 words) =]

new novel....

it haven't started... LOL
SORRY!!
gomenasai desu.
cya~*
Au revior~*